Southern nuisance now a “lovely perennial vine”

Ricky Adams Memories of Enterprise

The late Southern philosopher, song-and-dance man, drummer and comedian Brother Dave Gardner cut directly to the chase with his observations about mankind, and was first to rise to in defense of fellow Southerners.
One Brother Dave story from the 1950s concerned those “ignorant” Southerners at Hot Springs, Ark., then selling bottled water to “brilliant” Yankee tourists.
Several years ago at the Enterprise State Junior College baseball diamond, a disciple of Brother Dave — yours truly — had just sold a $1 bottle of water to a Boll Weevil player’s dad, a man from Valdosta, Ga., who, upon taking the first swig of the ice cold drink, admitted, “Daddy would be so ashamed if he knew I’d just bought a bottle of water.“
“Well, from this side of the counter, Daddy would be so proud to know his only child had just sold it to you.“
Daddy, who could’ve been described as a man who threw nickels around like manhole covers, would have issues with today’s bottled water prices, and with an item on page 29 of the “Spring 2009 Jung Seeds & Plants” catalog.
Located in Randolph, Wisc., Jung has supplied all matters of shrubbery, trees, fruits, vegetables and assorted merchandise for 110 years, but this year they’ve added an item that most assuredly proves the old adage, “A fool and his money are soon parted.“
See if you can guess what it is from the catalog’s description: “The hardiest variety of this lovely perennial vine. Lacy, twining foliage covers stems that bear large, showy, pinkish-purple flowers all summer. Flowers are followed by egg-size edible yellow fruit with flavor similar to passion-fruit. Vines freeze to the ground each winter, but re-grow in spring. Root hardy to -20 degrees. We recommend a winter mulch for extra protection.“
Figured it out yet?
These plants sell for $9.95 each, three for $27.95 or six pack for $49.95.
Got it?
Yes, that’s right. The Jung folks are selling Passiflora incarnata, a vine they call “Maypop Passionflower.“
Growing up, we just called ‘em maypops, and while we eventually figured out the seeds of mature maypops tasted sort of like pomegranates, we mostly used them as weapons in maypop wars.
The reason it took so long to discover their edibility was simply because we never let one ripen; half-grown ones were almost as hard as dirt clods and make a fine “popping” sound when they struck an enemy upside the head.
Southerners can attest to the hardiness of maypop vines. While not in the same league with Johnson or nut grass, maypop vines will cause a fellow to break a sweat getting rid of ‘em.
Discovering Jung’s offering this year brought up a question: Whatever happened to maypop vines around here?
While on plum patrol with grandson Lane Marler, 11, we managed to locate several vines.
“What do you do with maypops, Papa?“
“Well, Lane, we’ll keep our eyes on these vines; when the maypops get ready, your papa’ll show you what to do with ‘em.“
If you don’t want maypops in your yard, Jung also sells “Scarlett Honeysuckle” vines for $10.95, and Blue Moon Wisteria for $14.95 ... plus shipping.
Call the Jung outfit at 800-692-5864 if you don’t believe it.